Be unapologetically you when you create your dating profile. I was very lucky and was able to find someone within only a few months online, but I completely put it all out there…everything: the single mom-ness, the quirky-ness, even being a crazy chicken mom!
If I didn’t want surprises from my potential date, I needed to be willing to do the same.
Who are you? What makes you laugh? How does you crazy world spin? Make a list, show it to a few friends and ask them to add or detract.
Think about it..if you are potentially going to get naked with someone, shouldn’t you tell them who you are on the inside before they see you naked on the outside? IDK..just a thought!
Look, if you are mid-40’s like me, you don’t have time to fuck around with people who aren’t ready for you, the real you. We have learned from our divorces, breakups, and life in general that owning who we are creates a line that tells another: Own your shit and be real or there’s the door. Meet me at the same level and lets grab a drink.
Scary to fit who you are in “X” words or less? Of course! Trusting someone new with feelings? That’s poltergeist-scary-movie SCARY! Can it be worth it in the end? Yep, I am here to tell you YES! So so so so so (did I put in enough “so’s” for emphasis?) worth it. Has it always been easy from the beginning? HA HA, you’re joking, right? I think he and I both cried most of month 2 working out all the kinks, but we met each other at that level of authenticity and realness to do the work.
Also, be at the point where you are comfortable being alone with your own company before you invite someone in to keep you company. Loneliness creates blinders. You won’t see potential problems because you are so desparate for company.
Be you. Love you. Most of all, Have fun! When you can relax into it, this dating game can be fun!
Here’s what I put on my dating profile:
A playful spirit with an old soul.
Baker of sweet treats.
Creative by nature
Out of the box thinker
Single mom of preteen girl 80% of the time, dachshund poodle, & 4 chickens
Started non profit to help people heal from divorce
Not raised w religion at all, but spiritual by nature.
Love British mysteries
Favorite book trilogy: Discovery of Witches
Giver: I always give more because people need to feel loved and appreciated.